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SHE-RO: Save Yourself!

One day while driving Mariah Carey’s song Hero, or as I like to call it She-ro, came on. In that powerful voice, she sang:

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Although I had heard the song hundreds of times, the words of the song became so clear to me on that day. When you look up the definition of hero it says, “A person who is admired for great or brave acts or fine qualities; a person who is greatly admired; the chief male character in a story, play, movie, etc.” Which then made me think of the definition of savior and it says “someone who saves something or someone from danger, harm, failure, etc.”

Then it all made sense! I have a “save-me” complex!

I was looking to be saved and didn’t even know it! How, do you ask? Well its started with my family, whenever I was in need or in a bind, they always came to my rescue. Not that anything is wrong with that at all, it’s beautiful and blessed thing. But what happened is subconsciously I was going through life expecting to be ‘saved.’ I was putting unnecessary expectations on people that simply were not responsible. So I would get let down on a regular basis because in my own head I had expectations of what others should do for me. Then when they didn’t my feelings would be so hurt.

Not only that, I realized how many people I know who have that same complex. It’s a form of being spoiled and not having to be accountable for your own actions. Also it’s a lack of belief in oneself. How was I going put these positive thoughts into fruition when deep down I didn’t even believe in myself? Isn’t that the number one rule, believe in yourself. The words of the song are revealed again to,

Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

A hero lies in you! Yes you! And you don’t need anyone to confirm your greatness. You don’t need anyone to tell you are great, you have to believe and know you are. What’s even more important is to apply that logic to personal relationships. Women can also have the Cinderella complex. Waiting for a knight in shining armor to do what? Come and SAVE you. We wait, wait to buy that car, wait to buy that house, wait to pursue that dream because we think we need someone outside of us to validate our actions and what we have. Its almost like we feel better saying “He bought me a house” instead of “I have my own home.” Let me be clear, I am not saying there is something wrong with him buying you a home at all!! If he is buying, you better move in! All I am saying is if you can do it for yourself, do it. Don’t wait for someone else to do it just for bragging rights.

I find that the more you do for yourself because you can, will build your self-confidence and self-love. So in the instance of a new love interest, you can be more clear in your decision to keep them in your life. When you are not expecting anything you don’t settle and you won’t tolerate disrespectful behavior because you are hoping what they can do for you.

Its actually very liberating to be your own SHE-RO. Love yourself, believe in yourself, validate yourself.
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Inventor, Actress, writer, seamstress. I am a member of the Chicago Inventors Organization and I do consulting for new inventors. Live Life Fearless.

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