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5 Tips To Having “The Talk”

In honor of February and the National awareness that occur this month, HIV/AIDS Awareness Day and National Condom Day, we thought it only appropriate that we give some tips on having “the talk” with your mate before taking the big step.

As Empirelista’s, we are well versed in successfully leading our businesses, making tough decisions, networking and selling our brand, but when it comes to the bedroom, we can take a more passive role, so-to-speak. So, let’s set the tone! You may have lost track of time because you are consumed in the throes of conversation. Music is on point, the vibe is right and you are relaxed. Ambitious, attractive and charismatic; you feel connected on a deeper level. It’s only a matter of time before things progress to the next level. Okay pump your breaks. How do you have the necessary talk without scaring your suitor away?

Get Out of Your Head

The biggest barrier to having “the talk” is our own thoughts. We are scared that he/she will think that we don’t trust him/her or that we’re judging his/her past. But to be honest, you have no clue what your partner will feel and most times your partner is just as nervous as you are to have the conversation. They maybe relieved that you brought it up first! So BE BOLD and speak up.

Be Mature

The maturation of the partners can help couples ease into these kinds of conversations. Sex is not something to be embarrassed or shy about. The facts are most STDs can be easily treated if found early. The policy of it’s better safe than sorry really does stand true. So make the conversation light but straightforward. For some it’s easier to write it down; consider writing a letter about sexual health and your goals for the relationship and swapping it during date night.

Show You Care

Once your partner realizes that you are taking this bold step because you care, it will make everything to follow much easier. It’s really about being safe and ensuring that you both remain healthy.

Do It Together

This is probably the most important step. Nothing shows maturity and that you care more than taking the steps to get tested together. These days it’s easier than ever to get tested. STDs like chlamydia and gonorrhea may only involve peeing in a cup. HIV testing can be done by blood or as easy as a swab of your mouth.

Make an Agreement

Make an agreement to keep each other healthy. Depending on the couple hat could mean many things such as, agreeing to wear condoms with each sexual encounter, agreeing to not engage in any high-risk exposures and/or agreeing to getting tested every 6 months. Whatever you do, be sure to include your partner in the decision making.

We know having “the talk” may not be easy, but as a bold Empirelista it is of utmost importance that you put your health first. Aside from the thrill that passion can bring a relationship, you have to consider your sexual health and needs before moving forward in your relationship or courtship. Overall, be wise and be led by your conviction, not your body.

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Dr. Gameli Dekayie-Amenu & Dr. Chantale Stephens-Archer are the co-founders of BestiesMD. As both best friends and physicians, they developed their company to provide medical information regarding women’s health issues on relatable & sisterly level.

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